Here’s how 24 Canadian music venues will look after we’re all destroyed by global warming

Ottawa’s Babylon will be completely submerged, but good news for billiards fans: Its second floor appears untouched. At least we’ll be able to kayak for an ole round of 8-ball.

Bye bye, Biltmore.

The mighty St. Lawrence will engulf St. Laurent Blvd., including its beloved Casa Del Popolo venue, which was built by Godspeed! You Black Emperor bassist Mauro Pezzente.

Sticking with Montreal, Ste. Catherine’s strip clubs and grey bars will be washed away in dirty brown muck. Club Soda will, too. Think that Grimes show will still be on?

When the rising tides wash away coastal cities like Vancouver, Venue will be waist-deep in Pacific brine. Here’s to hoping the Commodore will survive.

Montreal’s Foufounes Electriques, gnarled with rusted steel and Christmas lights, already looks like something post-apocalyptic. A little water won’t change that.

Those menacing grey skies add brutal ambience to the corner of North St. and Agricola, where Gus’ Pub resides. Hopefully, in the event of severe flooding, B.A. Johnston will still be booking acoustic shows here.

The Guvernment is shutting down IRL, sadly. But it’s not because its floors are being penetrated by filthy Lake Ontario sludge.

The Khyber, one of Halifax’s creative nerve centres, will be shutting down. We’re not sure what’ll happen to the gorgeous multi-storey building, but thankfully, its top floors should survive rising waters from the North Atlantic.

We'd never listen to Neil Young's live album the same way again

Forget the Hey Rosetta! shows. If St. John’s Mile One Centre is gone, where in the hell will the IceCaps play?

Hey Calgary: Where are your fancy LRTs now? Under 15 feet of seawater. Not so arrogant now, are we? KIDDING. Damn, I wish my city would approve LRTs.

Mayyyybe the parts of the Marquee Room, Gottingen’s St.’s mid-sized venue, survived the rising tide. But Hell’s Kitchen, its one-time intimate basement venue, will essentially inhabited by lobsters and hermit crabs.

On the plus side, if this seawater ever freezes, there’ll be an incredible skating rink outside Winnipeg’s Pyramid Cabaret.

Thankfully, the Silver Dollar—the house that legendary Toronto promoter Dan Burke built—exists up a flight of stairs. The neighbouring Comfort Zone, an essential Toronto electronic music venue, is long gone.

Our favourite late-night nacho eatery will be waterlogged, but Sneaky Dee’s second floor venue just might be dry. Also: Check that submerged streetcar. Now that’s what we call apocalyptic.

The Starlite’s arched entrance, it seems, can no longer be used for glamourous band photoshoots. Sorry, Bedouin Soundclash.

We love the Smalltown DJs, but their sets would be even better with a swim-up bar. Also: Note that these Calgary photos are pure fiction, not taken from last year’s disastrous flood.

The Seahorse, and the neighbouring Economy Shoe Shop, are the gems of Halifax’s cobblestone South End walkway. Too bad they’ll be completely filled with disgusting sea brine.

Great. Now where will Elton John, Damian Abraham, and a Tribe Called Red go to get a hot dog?

One of Winnipeg’s best up-and-comers is built in a heritage building—and it won’t be pretty when salt water infiltrates that ancient foundation.

The cleansing flood shall take the Wunderbar with it, too. Too bad. Are there any venues high above sea level in Edmonton?

We’ve made countless memories at the Horseshoe Tavern, so we’d be sad to see it washed away. In the event of the apocalypse, though, we’re still hoping that Teddy Fury’s still around, serving up lukewarm 50s in a snap-button shirt.

Goodbye, Dakota Tavern. Toronto won’t be the same without you.