Happiness is a tricky thing. In a time where we’re constantly being reminded of what we don’t have and what peers may or may not be skyrocketing past us, it can be hard to get, well, anything done. But fret not: even with last year’s five-time Grammy-nominated platinum album CTRL under her belt, SZA knows how you feel.
In a recent interview with Flaunt, SZA opened up about the obstacles that her insecurities, even in the light of the sold-out tours and SNL performances following her breakthrough, have presented her with: “You’re now interpreting everybody’s movements and thoughts in the room as a worst-case scenario based on you, which is low-key crazy and highly egoic. It’s really based on self-esteem and the fact that you don’t think you’re good enough. It’s just twisted. I started to feel worse about myself for behaving that way.”
Her remedy? “I just decided to focus on other shit”, the “other shit” in question being regular meditation routines and entering anger management to try and become more comfortable with what she calls “failing softly.” In the interview, SZA also discusses alternate career paths she might have taken before landing on music:
“I thought I’d be a scientist, traveling around the world on some etymology shit,” SZA says. “Or working for Greenpeace. Or working in an animal conservatory. Or working at a law firm with a popping corner office and a Porsche. Maybe fashion. Marketing or advertising.
I just knew that I was going to have a large gate and a dog that I loved.” Her own Toto. “I always knew that. It’s just what I required in that regard. My dreams were too strong. And I need the things I dream about.”
SZA’s already transferring this momentum into the blueprint-stages of her next album, a process she reveals is comprised of “coming up with little catchphrases in the car on the way home, and I’ll be like, “Cute. Then I’ll be like, ‘I think I’m ready to write and start recording.” First, however, fans can look forward to a deluxe version of CTRL, this summer’s Championship Tour with her TDE labelmates including Kendrick Lamar and Schoolboy Q, and, most importantly, the fact that even a Grammy nomination doesn’t lead to happiness (Take note, Kanye).