As Ontario election season begins to heat up in anticipation of the June 7th voting date (we’re assuming you’re going to vote if you’re in Ontario), party leaders are going hard on the campaign trail. Every campaign, however, needs a campaign song; the tuneful tradition meant to both rile up supporters and make the candidate more relatable. When it comes to relatability, these songs more than do the trick — basically proving that every candidate is some stereotype of a wacky aunt or uncle might probably have.
Andrea Horwath, “The Cool Craft Beer Aunt”
Recently, Horwath has been walking out to tunes by The Sheepdogs and Strumbellas which exist in the orbit of CanCon bands that you can’t help but love, but are juuust rockin’ enough for your older relatives as well. It’s exactly what Horwath’s campaign is about —connecting with a youthful demographic that has both been otherwise ignored in this election cycle and grown fed up with the general state of the world. Sure, maybe those tickets she got you to go see the Sheepdogs headline some Ribfest aren’t your first idea of a gift, but you know she truly means well. And you know what, you’ll have a blast anyway.
Doug Ford, “The Beer-Guzzling Barbecue Uncle”
“For the People,” a thirty-second stadium rock anthem, was recorded by an uncredited artist, but it would not be at all surprising for the song to be the artistic fruit of Ford himself, recorded with his buddies locked away in his Etobicoke garage between swigs of Miller Lite and wonky covers of “Eye of the Tiger” (Ford’s campaign song prior to “People”). It makes sense that the track is uncredited, it matches his similarly absent platform. His campaign might be one that appeals to an older, less urban demographic, but one that still has an unapologetic edge akin to your uncle’s vast hot sauce collection with naughty names like “Ass in the Tub” and “Hemorrhoid Helper.”
Kathleen Wynne, “The Fierce Wine Aunt”
Everyone knows a relative like Wynne — all business, no bullshit. But what you also know is that brazenness is usually just a few glasses of chardonnay and the right Spotify playlist away from revealing a more tender, tuneful edge. There’s really no better artist to represent the Liberals’ focus on balancing both institutional and individual respect than P!nk, who throughout her career has managed to comfortably appeal to the mainstream while maintaining her bold sense of individuality — not to mention the fact that it’s usually her music that does the trick of getting your otherwise-rigid aunt to cut loose in wine-fuelled song.