You are not the first person to think about going downtown. The best we can tell, musicians have been contemplating lickety laps and banana peeling forever, having built up a sizeable knowledge base and repository of cautionary advice on the subject.
We highly recommend doing some advance research with these 11 songs about oral sex…
Bryan Adams – “Summer of 69”
Let’s consult the questionably-spelled knowledge of Urban Dictionary to learn more about this (sic) “69”:
“The act of having simultineous oral sex. a 69 can be when 2 males suck each other, when 2 females eat eachother, or when a man and a woman suck AND eat eachother.”
Akinyele – “Put It In Your Mouth”
This directive in swan swallowing, as crude as it is popular, is at least partially redeemed in the song’s equal opportunity clam kissing second half by way of the affirmation that “Whether you choose to eat pussy or dick, people throughout the world it’s your pick.”
Lil’ Kim – “Not Tonight”
On “Not Tonight”, rapper Lil’ Kim lays down the first rule about yodeling in her canyon: “The moral of the story is this/If you ain’t lickin’ this, you ain’t stickin’ this.”
20 Fingers feat. Roula – “Lick It”
“You gotta lick it before we kick it.”
D’Angelo – “Left & Right”
“Smack your ass, pull your hair. I’ll even kiss you way down there.” Shirt-deficient R&B star D’Angelo may like things a little rough, but he’ll make sure you’re well serviced.
Kelly Rowland – “Kisses Down Low”
Over the course of 83 lines sometimes Destiny’s Child member Kelly Rowland makes it *very* clear she likes her kisses down low.
N.E.R.D – “Brain”
Is it wrong to have had higher expectations from Pharrell Williams’ rock/funk/rap band N*E*R*D than “Girl unlatch your bra, but first unlatch your jaw.”
Peaches – “Downtown”
Peaches wants to take that listener downtown, even being so kind as to offer to “give you a bus ride” in this song, though we’re preeetty sure she’s not talking about public transit.
Consolidated and The Yeastie Girlz – “You Suck”
There’s no risk of unwanted pregnancy in The Yeastie Girlz’ world because their partners have a singular directive: “Get your face between my thighs.”
Missy Elliott – “Work It”
“You do or you don’t or you will or won’t you,
Go downtown and eat it like a vulture,
See my hips and my tips, don’t you?
See my ass and my lips, don’t you?”
Eating it “like a vulture” is perhaps not the sexiest imagery, but hey, whatever floats your boat.
Lil’ Wayne – “Lollipop”
It’s been years since Wayne’s banger, and we’re still trying to figure out how to “burp burp” and “jerp jerp” each other.