Lifestyle

We imagine what the “anti-cannabis” PSA’s of 2018 would look like

Spoiler alert: be prepared for videos of responsible parents taking the edge off, and some effective self-care strategies.

October 5, 2018

The anti-drug PSAs of old have historically occupied two extremes: laughable ignorance and depressing severity. From the 70s through the 00s it’s a cornucopia of talking dogs, cracked eggs and deflated friends, confusing us into submission despite overtly negative messaging.

But where’s the late night cravings, general goofiness and ephiany laden conversations? Cannabis ads of the last 40 years have done nothing but perpetuate stereotypes created by people who never puffed on Bob Hope in their life. Which is why, we wanted to create some realistic advertising scenarios that highlight the harmless nature of enjoying all things green.

Your average Friday night

SETUP

With another crazy work week in the books the last thing you want to do is dress up and party. Hard pass on the shitty music and obnoxious drunks, so out come the sweatpants, restaurant sized Tostitos and a hand crafted blunt that Snoop would be proud of.

ROLL CAMERA

There he is! The majestic human high as a kite. The rustling of the Tostitos bag and his occasional laughter the only sound. At home, youngsters in front of the TV are tense, waiting for the inevitable moment they’ve all been trained to recognize: “The Moral Lesson.” But as the camera slowly pans in on his continual eating and laughter, the kids descend into confusion. Where’s the overdose? Or crashing of glass as police break through his window? The camera stops short of the couch. Reaching for another chip our hungry recreational cannabis user comes up empty. The screen fades to black as his sad, hungry visage is replaced with a Government of Canada logo. Tommy and Tina shake off their suspicion and clap as the next episode of Zoboomafoo—the trippiest thing ever to air on Canadian television—pops up on the IPad’s glowing screen.

EDUCATIONAL TAKEAWAYS

  • Pot causes general relaxation and hunger, therefore indulge at the appropriate time.
  • Believe it or not, the lifestyle of the currently stoned and sleepy is exactly that.
  • An important obvious tip for this Friday night is that all responsibilities should be finished before partaking in king kush .
  • Don’t waste endless trips to the kitchen, bring multiple snacks with you.

 

Mom needs a break

SETUP

Toys are everywhere since no one listened when she asked them to clean up. Working a full day at Old Dude and Old Dude law firm, she picks up the kids from daycare, managing to feed them by 8 pm. She doesn’t have Craig’s doltish ass for delegating chores, since he’s still on business in Halifax. Her head is throbbing as the kids finally fall asleep and cool mom just wants to chill for an hour before her own bed comes calling.

ROLL CAMERA

Our tired heroine plops down on the couch, wincing as she pulls a small dump truck from beneath her. Reaching out of frame she pulls in a tupperware container and pry’s off the lid. Unwrapping paper towel from a brownie, she breaks off a small piece and pops it in her mouth. With the edible finished, mom of the year lies back on the couch and we hear the  Netflix chime—which sounds oddly similar to that of Law & Order—followed by the opening theme of The Crown. As the screen fades to black, super mom sighs from relief, whispering “She’s the Queen for fucksake, pay her more,” as the Government of Canada logo appears on screen.

EDUCATIONAL TAKEAWAY

  • Moms need a break too.
  • Wine sometimes doesn’t cut it.
  • Don’t you dare call her a terrible parent.
  • There’s nothing wrong with a small edible after the kids start dreaming.
  • Stay away from those Cheeba Chews.
  • Mind your milligrams, stuff is strong son

The Stoned Epiphany Classic

SETUP

Certainly a cannabis classic, the late night ¡Ay, caramba! can usually be spotted by the mad dash one makes for a notepad and pen. The 10 minute ensuing scramble to find said stationary can vary in length depending on the state of one’s kush coma. It’s a flustered attempt  to scrawl everything down while you’re mind continues to spit out ideas. Often no regard is given to the legibility of the writing, and a string of hastily written words is a sure sign our subject is in the midst of a literary cannabis conundrum.

ROLL CAMERA

A desk lamp is our only source of light. We see the back of a madman writing furiously. The sound of a pen scratching  page is deafening and the camera pans in on his position. Wisps of smoke hang around his head; an ashtray holds the remains of his hastily rolled joint. We never see what he’s written, but judging by the acute angle of his head to the page, it’s some world-changing shit.

CUT-TO

The next morning our subject walks quickly past his desk dressed in a suit jacket and tie. He pauses, a hand touching the pages from the previous night. He laughs shaking his head and folding a single page into his jacket, something to flesh out later. As the camera fades to black, it swings to the right displaying a cabinet stacked with notebooks in various stages of use.

EDUCATIONAL TAKEAWAYS

  • Cannabis helps you keep that New Years resolution of journaling more.
  • Salvage some of it, your toasted brain must have been on to something.
  • Never, ever publish anything in the midst of a literary kush koma.
  • A dope pen goes a long way (literally).
  • The bigger the paper the better the results.

 

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