Every now and then, the 6 God does something to remind us mere mortals that he is watching over us, and recently this meant responding to someone’s Instagram post during a Toronto Raptors game. As fate would have it, the lucky recipient of Drake’s attention was one of our very own writers. This is his story.
A.SIDE: Can you tell us what happened on the night in question? And can you please speak slowly so we can experience as much of this event as possible vicariously through you?
Greg Bouchard: [Laughs] Sure. I was at a friend’s house watching the Raptors game and Drake got on the mic with the commentators. He was just bantering with them for a while, being silly, giving game commentary, but also talking about the suits they were wearing. It was pretty classic Drake. I started looking at the cup in his hand, wondering what he was drinking, because I figured he could probably get whatever he wants at games and I was curious what someone would order in that situation. It really looked to me like he was just drinking sparkling water with lemon, which would be a pretty fitting Drake drink, and I thought that was kind of funny so I Instagrammed it.
And that’s when the 6 God descended to anoint you with his response?
Yup. I looked back at my phone again a few minutes later and there was a comment from @champagnepapi: “Greg you look like you survive off of Perrier and Quinoa.”
What went through your head in that moment?
I didn’t think it was real right away. I thought it must be a parody account, but it had the blue checkmark, and I kept clicking through and going to actual Drake’s Instagram account to be sure. That’s when I turned around to my friends, interrupting their conversation, and said, “Uh, guys, Drake just responded to my Instagram post.” No one else believed it right away either and there was a lot of passing around my phone to be sure.
Why do you think Drake picked you, of the millions of people who comment at him, to grace with a response?
Who knows?! Maybe my comment struck a nerve with him. Maybe it hurt his feelings. Drake leads a very feelings-oriented life. The thing is, I definitely didn’t mean it as a hard diss, it was just one of those Drake jokes that everyone tells—that he tells too, because he has a fun sense of humor about himself. But maybe it pissed him off. How he even saw it in the first place, though, I have no idea. My best guess is that he was looking for a picture of himself on TV and mine came up first because I tagged him at the right moment.
So, it’s safe to say that at this point, you knew that your life had changed forever. How did you feel?
I felt bad more than anything. I mean, it’s Drake, and we all love him, and the only words he’d seen me write about him—he read them as a diss? It hadn’t even occurred to me that he would see my post, but I’d assumed that if he did, he’d take it as a normal shout out and flip right by it.
But instead, he clapped back at you. Did you have a moment where you thought, “Holy shit, I’m beefing with Drake now?”
[Laughs] Yeah, I started to think about how I should respond and what would happen if this blew up and became a big deal. But that lasted for maybe 30 seconds, until my rational side kicked in and I realized that Drake definitely wouldn’t bother with this. “Drake beefs with random dude over sparkling water diss” is not the kind of headline he’s going for in his life.
Were you hurt by Drake’s burn?
Not at all. My unthinking, immediate assumption was that he had looked through my entire Instagram feed and summed up my life in two words. Like if Drake says I survive off of Perrier and quinoa, then maybe that’s who I really am. Of course, he almost certainly just looked at my profile picture for a couple seconds and shot back a slightly revamped version of my comment—I said sparkling water, he changed it to Perrier and added quinoa for an extra punch. So Drake.
Is there any chance he was actually complimenting you? A Perrier and quinoa diet sounds healthy, to be honest.
Who knows, maybe he was. Maybe he was saying I look like I take care of myself. That kind of positivity is why Drake is so beloved around the world.
Be honest, how often do you consume Perrier and quinoa?
Okay, here’s what’s funny. The fact is that I rarely ever consume either, but it just so happened that when Drake said this, I had a bottle of Perrier in my fridge for the first time in years.
Do you think he sensed the presence of Perrier in your fridge, as any omniscient god would?
Maybe! I’m totally open to the idea that Drake knows more about me than I know about myself.
Did you get a lot of comments, a lot of people replying to Drake on your feed?
This one guy jumped into the thread to advertise his Instagram called Tree Squad. He says he’s a “lover of all things cars and shrubbery related,” which are two things I never thought to put together, but that’s cool. Someone else got on there and said, “Yo Drake please give me a shout out please.” Otherwise it was pretty much my friends saying, “Holy shit, dude.”
Do you have any advice for the countless masses who dream of getting noticed by Drake on social media?
Just do you. Give him something real to work with. No, actually, it’s 99% luck, but one thing I can suggest is tagging him in the photo itself. If you scroll through photos he’s tagged in, it’s actually not an insane number compared to @champagnepapi and #drake mentions, and I’m sure he can keep up with them when he’s looking at the app.
By the way, did you miss the part where he straight up said he was drinking Pinot Grigio?
No, but that was after I’d already posted. It does help explain why Drake thought I was being a jerk.
Yeah, sorry Drake.