Everyone’s favourite piano man, iconic songwriter, and go-to Pixar scorer Randy Newman has a new album, Dark Matter, coming next week, welcome news to the world’s fans of pointed, satirical songs sung in that gruff, unmistakeable voice. The album will include Newman’s ode to everyone’s favourite authoritarian, dictatorial Russian strongman –
– but it’s another track that didn’t make the final album that many of Newman’s fans are desperate to hear. In a recent interview with Vulture, when asked about writing a song about Trump, Newman said that he did start penning a song for America’s Special Lil’ Tyke, but its vulgar nature precluded it from making the cut:
“I did write about him. But the language was too vulgar. It felt too easy. The song was “My dick’s bigger than your dick / It ain’t braggin’ if it’s true / My dick’s bigger than your dick / I can prove it too / There it is! There’s my dick / Isn’t that a wonderful sight? / Run to the village, to town, to the countryside / Tell the people what you’ve seen here tonight.”
When asked about the song’s chorus, Newman didn’t disappoint:
The hook was “What a dick!” Duh-duh-duh. “What a dick!” But I just didn’t want to add to the problem of how ugly the conversation we’re all having is, so I didn’t put it out.
Hopefully we’ll get to hear a completed version of the Trump dick song when Cars 4 eventually hits theatres, hopefully sung by a rude fire truck or something.