Culture/TV

Cole Sprouse catches fan Googling him

Jughead's pretty adept at catching snooping fans red handed.

January 5, 2018

Traditionally, Jughead Jones has only interested in burgers, nonconformism, and wearing an anachronistic hat, but now you can add camera duels to the shortlist. Riverdale’s Cole Sprouse is no stranger to camera duelling with his fans on social media to be the first to snap a surreptitious photo, and based on a recent, soon-to-be-vanished Instagram Story experience with a fan in line with, he’s definitely back on his bullshit:

Some of Sprouse’s greatest hits from a career spent camera duelling starstruck fans are below:

My father once told me that the key to great driving was ensuring the safety of myself and my passengers. Now, behold the fatherless fanatics: car in motion, eyes and hands off the wheel and road. There are times when I am truly in awe of the bravery of human sacrifice. A soldier risks all to save a fallen comrade. A group of righteous protestors fight oppression within a fascist regime. An old woman with dementia walks across a 4 way intersection to the local grocery. THIS, is not one of those times. In fact, a picture of ~a sprouse~ driving a car is so low down the life and limb foodchain, I am almost honored by the attempt. But I digress. You may be asking yourself, "Cole, aren't you taking a picture while driving too?" Yes, yes I certainly am. And typing this caption too. And while I was stopped when I took this, even if I was in motion I had already resigned my existence to another plane. If they play for keeps, so do I. The screaming and giggling that echoed from their car was a grim prologue to an ~auto~biography I should be writing: "I killed two people who probably shouldn't breed anyway," (working title), or at least the opening sequence to "red asphalt 2." Now if they did, indeed, collide with Darwin (because of me) I would have felt a tad guilty, I admit. But to be fair Oprah made us take a pledge for this exact reason, and so I think she should probably feel more ashamed. I hope Satan likes the photo.

A post shared by Cole Sprouse (@camera_duels) on

Not but 30 seconds after arriving on the plane, a quick glance to my right revealed this seafoam sapiens breathing heavily and scrambling for her phone. Little lady must've thought, just because her phone matched her shirt, that I wouldn't detect her desperate photos. Firstly, my vision is based on fear, and I saw you right away. Second, nay. The victim: @tater_tots15 claimed it was a "tie." Her innocent account name perfectly reflects how violently she lost. She posted a picture of our duel, in which my debonair gait and relaxed posture so too reflects how prepared I was for her ludicrous display of #AeronauticArseholery. My Cheshire grin must have scared the other passengers, and I was quickly escorted off the plane for being #TooDamnBomb #cameraduels

A post shared by Cole Sprouse (@camera_duels) on

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