Another Pride month, another annual chorus of misinformed cries of “What about straight pride?” – only this time around, a group of Boston men are taking their shortsighted views one step further, planning a “Straight Pride Parade” set for later this month. Thankfully, many are ready to drag them on their ignorance.
The City of Boston has reportedly received a list of demands from a group calling themselves “Super Happy Fun America” requesting a parade celebrating “the diverse history, culture, and contributions of the straight community.”
The group’s website features a statement from apparent president John Hugo that truthfully sounds like a joke. “Straight people are an oppressed majority. We will fight for the right of straights everywhere to express pride in themselves without fear of judgement and hate. The day will come when straights will finally be included as equals among all of the other orientations,” in addition to MAGA-themed images petitioning for their skewed idea of inclusivity.
Unsurprisingly, the proposed event has generated plenty of protest, criticism, and ridicule across the Internet – with perhaps the most hilariously scathing coming from New York’s reliably on point politician, Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez.
Cortez made sure to ask the big questions, tweeting “Will ‘Straight Pride’ be a Freaky Friday type situation where all of our history books, movies, stories, media, news, etc feature mostly LGBTQ+ people & perspectives? Will people have to come out as straight? What would folks march in? Socks w/ sandals on? Dad jeans?”
Will “Straight Pride” be a Freaky Friday type situation where all of our history books, movies, stories, media, news, etc feature mostly LGBTQ+ people & perspectives?
Will people have to come out as straight?
What would folks march in? Socks w/ sandals on? Dad jeans? https://t.co/7SUiWHWRMd
— Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (@AOC) June 5, 2019
Dad jeans or not, the notion of a “straight pride” parade ignores the decades of oppression of and discrimination faced by the queer community – something that, regardless of one’s orientation, isn’t too hard to recognize:
Why is there no #StraightPride ?
Because I've never had to do the following things for my right to be straight:
3. Face discrimination
4. Be ridiculed
If you're mad that people are marching, stop giving them a reason to march. March with them for equality.
— Hayden Griffith (@HaydenIsMondo) June 4, 2019
Even Captain America himself took time to join in on the clapback, with Chris Evans offering “’desperately trying to bury our own gay thoughts by being homophobic because no one taught us how to access our emotions as children’ parade” as an alternate name for the absurd event:
Wow! Cool initiative, fellas!! Just a thought, instead of ‘Straight Pride’ parade, how about this: The ‘desperately trying to bury our own gay thoughts by being homophobic because no one taught us how to access our emotions as children’ parade? Whatta ya think? Too on the nose?? https://t.co/gaBWtq2PaL
— Chris Evans (@ChrisEvans) June 5, 2019
Social media isn’t the only source of celebrity criticism against the event, with Brad Pitt threatening Super Happy Fun America with legal action after the group christened the actor as the event’s unofficial mascot. Following Pitt’s threats, however, the event’s mascot is simply now listed as “Redacted”:
Regarding the status of the proposed “celebration,” the city of Boston has responded that though they have been in communication with Super Happy Fun America, the group has yet to be granted any of the permits necessary to host their event.