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Ed The Sock
Click through the gallery to revisit 14 Fromage hits (misses)?
"Rock 'Em Sock 'Em Techno" by BKS featuring Don Cherry (1993)
Don Cherry, a then-59-year-old xenophobic hockey colour commentator, teamed up with DJ Chris "CRAY-zee in tha city of lovvve" Sheppard for this hokey techno jock jam. The standard established here is why Drake will never feel embarrassed.
"Electric Barbarella" by Duran Duran (1997)
Duran Duran bought themselves a sex robot and all they got out of it was an inadequately cleaned apartment and some sort of bedazzler erotic electroshock therapy.
"Do for Love" by 2Pac (1998)
Two years after his death, but 14 years before his holographic rebirth, a sexy claymation Tupac and a sexy cartoon Tupac provided spectacularly wrong-spirited illustration for the emotionally heavy "Do for Love."
"Just the Way I Planned It" by Philip Michael Thomas (1999)
Ed gave this 1985 video by Miami Vice actor Philip Michael Thomas a special citation as the cheesiest video of the millennium. We're pretty sure Thomas knew this honour was coming because he saw it with his third eye.
"The Hampsterdance Song" by Hampton The Hampster (2000)
Four animated hamsters fly Silver Surfer-style across the Earth on a surfboard and... FUCK. THIS. BULLSHIT.
"Not Too Young, Not Too Old" by Aaron Carter (2001)
An exploitative demographic marketing tool come to life in the form of a tween boy body, Carter raps about his website url ("Aaron Carter dot com"), the rage associated with being 13 years old when people accuse you of being 10, and "steppin' out with the younger girls." We are all partially to blame for this.
"Papa Don't Preach" by Kelly Osbourne (2002)
This version of Madonna's hit song is borderline tolerable enough to fit on those old Fearless Records Punk Goes Pop compilations. That said, the song's stern fighting-with-my-father-over-my-teen-pregnancy narrative feels tone deaf against the fact that The Osbournes, the family's reality television show that caricaturized Kelly's dad Ozzy as doddering and half-senile, clearly had no such level of conflict.
"Me Against the Music" by Britney Spears featuring Madonna (2003)
Britney and Madonna are into each other. They hump a wall that separates them. They do erotic gymnastics around a bed frame. Then, when Britney's about kiss Madonna, Madonna literally ghosts out of there. #Art
"My Prerogative" by Britney Spears (2004)
In hindsight, picking on Britney (seen here chewing scenery) for her many bad decisions in the mid-2000s feels a bit mean-spirited, but she *did* double-down on them by claiming it was her prerogative.
"Do Somethin'" by Britney Spears (2005)
While the peculiar cut of the underpants Britney wears in this video and the flying pink Hummer Brit and her friends fly around in are questionable, the only truly egregious thing in this video is the use of an unauthorized Louis Vitton logo that caused a lawsuit and has since forced this video to be scrubbed from official Spears channels.
"Bound 2" by Kanye West (2013)
Ed The Sock was very concerned about Kim Kardashian's apparent lack of nipples in this video. We're more concerned about Kanye's blatant disregard for motorcycle safety.
"Break Free" by Ariana Grande (2014)
Ed saved a double-shot of Grande videos for the finale of the 2014 Fromage special and with good reason. The notion of Grande as a cosmic freedom fighter is as ludicrous as the notion that people in space will wear Beats By Dre™ headphones. The send-up of Barbarella and Star Wars has 488,180,704 views on YouTube, though, so what do we know?
Long before self-aware dorks like Drake used “Hotline Bling” to launch a million memes, the music video was about one thing — the artist’s own hubris.
Back in the day not everyone was a budding videographer with iMovie on their phone. Videos cost a bajillion dollars and were the products of powerful people making powerful decisions about what powerful messages they wanted to send out to the world. In the face of this cinematic propaganda there often stood only one man. Or, more specifically, one sock — Ed The Sock.
A stalwart voice of truth, Ed’s almost-annual Fromage television specials on
Unfortunately, the foggy memories from days gone by have replaced much of Ed’s righteous fire with a hazy, bemused nostalgia. This will not stand. We must never forget the music video transgressions of the past and for this reason we jumped into the AUX P. McFly Time Machine and revisited some of the worst videos Ed The Sock warned us about over the years.
It turns out many are just as bad today as Ed said they were years ago…
*This article originally stated incorrectly that Ed the Sock hosted Fromage since 1993.