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Drake is hitting up porn stars on Instagram DM because the thirst is real

January 27, 2015

Godking of rap/World’s Thirstiest Man Aubrey Graham is likely adding another L to his collection with the revelation that he (probably) sent Mia Khalifa, the current no. 1-ranked star on Pornhub, “cringeworthy” online messages.

Appearing on CBS-owned Miami sports station WQAM 560 to play a game of “Moan or Groan” (ugh…groan), Mia mentioned that some unscrupulous character whose name rhymes with “rake” had hit her up through Instagram DMs, that “his intentions were clear,” and that “the whole thing was cringeworthy.”

When the host joked that this unnamed master of seduction probably sent her pics of “him just laying on the bed shirtless, kinda sad looking,” Mia replied that he was “halfway there.” Yikes.

Things might not be looking good for Drake’s defense team, but let’s not jump to conclusions! Let’s take a look at the evidence: Famous guy whose name rhymes with “rake”? Could be anyone, from country superstar Blake Shelton to Rammstein keyboardist Christian “Flake” Lorenz. Yeah, it’s probably the Du Hast guy! At the very least, we can confidently report that Mia did not receive thirsty ass messages from 18th U.S. National Security Advisor Anthony Lake.

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