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Alberta town that banned music petitions Kevin Bacon to save them

March 12, 2015

The tiny town of Taber, AB has become a real-life Footloose.

Question to all Western Canadians: What the hell heck is going on in Taber, AB? Located in Southern Alberta, roughly a two-hour drive from Calgary and just east of Lethbridge, the tiny prairie town has passed some truly bizarre bylaws: They’ve banned swearing, and if you’re caught dropping a fudge-bomb, you’ll be subject to a $50 fine. If you’re caught spitting in public, you’ll be ticketed for $75. And if you’re congregating in a group of three or more—at church, maybe?—it’ll cost you a whopping $150.

According to Global News, Taber’s police won’t be enforcing these laws heavily, but just knowing you can be charged for, like, hanging out publicly instills fear among its residents. Like, what is this? 1984? Singapore? “Just like everything else in life, we use common sense and those bylaws are for extreme circumstances,” mayor Henk De Vliger told Global. Riiiight.

The bylaws, to us, seem unconstitutional, but it gets even worse for music fans: The bylaws also prohibit music that, according to the CBC, “disturbs or annoys.” (That definition is very subjective; an entire musical ban, then, isn’t out of the question.) Understandably, Taber has drawn comparisons to Footloose, which is why the town’s raising funds to import Kevin Bacon to save them from their Draconian bylaws.

No, it’s not a joke: The town has launched a Twitter account hoping to attract Bacon’s attention, and they’ve written this appeal on their website.

[quote]Mr. Bacon, the people of Taber, Alberta need a hero more than ever. Kickstarter, let’s take this way too far.

Help us host a raucous dance party/protest against an embarrassing, archaic, vaguely worded law passed by an out of touch town-council — held of course, just outside of Taber. Help us bring a big city kid to a small town who knows he has to win.

You might be asking: Why would a dance cost this much? Because star power isn’t cheap, and what the hell are we even doing if Kevin Bacon isn’t going to be there?[/quote]

They also produced this video hoping to promote the cause. If Bacon can’t attend, the group hopes, they can maybe attract, uh, Kenny Loggins.

Their Kickstarter campaign is currently waiting on its approval.

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