(this is not Drake's mansion. BUT IMAGINE IT WAS?!)
Music/Features

Here’s a sneak peek at Drake’s giant new mansion

Jun 15, 2017

Drake's new house is so big it has MYSTERY CHAMBERS.

Construction on Drake’s 35,000 square pleasure palace in Toronto’s hyper-posh Bridle Path neighborhood has been quietly ongoing for the past four years, and it’s now been revealed what some of that endless space will be used for when the property is finally finished.

Thanks to a profile on the manor from Toronto Life, we now know the Drake house, if complete as envisioned, will include:

A snack room:

An entire room dedicated to snacks, entirely separate from any kind of kitchen or dining room.

A full spa:

Because every superstar musician deserves a cleansing, healing wellness experience on demand. Plus we know Drake likes bath time:

© Rolling Stone

A near-regulation size basketball court

Hopefully equipped with a healthy supply of lint rollers.

A 10-car garage

One car for every day of the week, and then another three

A jersey museum

Sadly, not a Jersey museum, full of Bruce Springsteen and Tony Soprano memorabilia. Maybe some Jimmy Brooks swag, though?

Two “mystery chambers”

It’s not clear what these rooms will be used for, although they’re marked ‘important artifacts’ on the house plan. Possible shrine to Jimmy’s wheelchair? Just another room to dance in?

Those are some pretty snazzy digs, but strangely, there’s no mention of a home studio. Another strange omission: the featureless white void from the “Hotline Bling” video. Sometimes you just want to zone out in one of those, you know?

No concrete move-in date yet though, so let’s hope Drake’s comfortable enough at his current residence in Hidden Hills, California. In related news: hard-left socialist Jeremy Corbyn won a major victory in the recent UK election when he defied the odds to take a number seats from the Conservative Party. How is this related to Drake’s opulent manor, you ask? Good question! I’m sure we’ll think of some reason.

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