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Music/News

Did Lorde run an Instagram dedicated to onion rings? UPDATE: yes, she did

June 13, 2017

The Lorde of the Rings: The Return of the Queen.

Yep, she’s confirmed she’s the Lorde of the Rings, as admitted on Fallon:

Lorde might be one of the most down-to-earth, relatable pop stars currently in the game, but it now appears that she’s even more real than previously thought: thanks to an in-depth, dedicated investigation, she’s now suspected of secretly running a recently-deleted onion ring-reviewing Instagram account.

Yes, you read that correctly.

Thanks to Newshub‘s investigative efforts, we know that the now-defunct account ‘onionringsworldwide’ disappeared shortly after Lorde’s team was contacted and asked about any possible connection, and that a wealth of evidence points to the account being personally run by New Zealand’s most famous pop face. Namely: that followers of the account included Lorde, as well as close friends and associates Justin Warren, Jimmy Mac and Maddy Budd, which by itself isn’t much to go on… until you consider that the account never cracked 30 followers. That’s one hyper-specific demo for a food reviewing Instagram.

More fuel to the epic Lorde of Rings rumours: one of the rings was consumed “ceremoniously on charter plane from Tennessee to New York.” Even putting aside the fact that’s like the most Lorde phrasing of all time, guess who recently played at Bonnaroo Music Festival in Tennessee? And most likely did take a charter flight to New York immediately afterwards? No points for guessing Kenny Loggins.

OK, so maybe it was just a member of Lorde’s team, wiling away the hours between international flights with some tossed off ring reviews. But can we not hope?

Lorde has yet to comment on her probably second career as a hyper-focused food critic, which, paired with the quick deletion of the account after questions started being asked, just might be the ultimate smoking ring in this whole investigation. Oh well, it might be for the best: it’s hard to focus on the upcoming release of your second album Melodrama when you’re constantly trying to craft the perfect pithy ring review.

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